This shouldn’t be the case, I am not supposed to feel and think this way.
I had my moments of relief that I knew what I want- & later I found out I don’t want it.
My life should be simple, but why do I complicate myself this much?
I am supposed to know my dreams, look & achieve it… but why do I feel so blank, still figuring out what do I really love to do, sometimes I think that people invented this field of work-because they don’t have anything else to do & money comes around with it, & probably true.
I am in college now, I had my 4 years of highshool & I felt I wasted it for not actually making an effort for my college plans. *sigh* I don’t know where I am going with this, but my life sucks sometimes, & my thoughts were jumpy & sluggish at the same time, skipping from subject to subject only because by the time I got to the middle of a thought, I forgot where I’d started or where I was going,..I felt so lost. Though I may not appear that way… but I am.
I can’t even share this with my friends ,or even wishing to. I’m such a cliché , but sometimes, I wondered If I am gonna stuck being like this, no goals, feeling like I live my life a hundred times over. I felt heavy & unworthy for me, my friends and my family… I just hope that when I look past this blog 5 years from now- I will laugh & telling myself what was I thinking being dramatic emo & shit…
& I want to live my life..fully.
P R O F I L E
Laila bagasina, 17 years old first year college, studying in MSU
love pandas , kawaii and cute stuffs. Im halfly arbitrary and happy go lucky. 99% introverted. grumpy ,cautional,& moody as what said in my blog url teehee