Diary~♥

donotmindme

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 |8:44 PM

This shouldn’t be the case, I am not supposed to feel and think this way.

I had my moments of relief that I knew what I want- & later I found out I don’t want it.

My life should be simple, but why do I complicate myself this much?

I am supposed to know my dreams, look & achieve it… but why do I feel so blank, still figuring out what do I really love to do, sometimes I think that people invented this field of work-because they don’t have anything else to do & money comes around with it, & probably true.

I am in college now, I had my 4 years of highshool & I felt I wasted it for not actually making an effort for my college plans. *sigh* I don’t know where I am going with this, but my life sucks sometimes, & my thoughts were jumpy & sluggish at the same time, skipping from subject to subject only because by the time I got to the middle of a thought, I forgot where I’d started or where I was going,..I felt so lost. Though I may not appear that way… but I am.

I can’t even share this with my friends ,or even wishing to. I’m such a cliché , but sometimes, I wondered If I am gonna stuck being like this, no goals, feeling like I live my life a hundred times over. I felt heavy & unworthy for me, my friends and my family… I just hope that when I look past this blog 5 years from now- I will laugh & telling myself what was I thinking being dramatic emo & shit…

& I want to live my life..fully.

MEAN MEAN MEAN

|9:34 AM

SO, uhhmm.. hi bloggy of mine. I was kinda depressed a while ago..,you see, we had our midterm exam last meeting in my Accounting class & I thought I figured out most of the questions, but theeen that’s what I thought

i hate the thought that the test was easy and I failed it. FFFUUU! Anyway, the second reason why my day sucks today, was when my Philosophy professor asked us different kinds of...errmm,okay, I don’t know what it was—but anyway, she was looking all over us, grinning- I was probably the only one who thought was kinda creepy…

& everyone was like opening their books for answers & stuff, & when I was about to look for my book, when I realized I left it in our PE locker room, so I screwed up, & here goes the torturing part, where she happily chooses her student & asked them things you’re not even sure if its in the book…

While she was smiling & looking around to point out the unlucky creature, I was like..

“Please don't pick me, please don't pick...”

… & then she chose ... ME

“WTh?!..cc—craaap!”

& then she asked me ( I don’t know what it was…)

So I was like staring, and rambling my own answers when she asked me why I didn’t hands up.

I don't know the answer. That's why my hand isn't raised.DUH.

So, I ended up having the epic failure grade for the recitation part, & then this girl beside me laughed about I-don’t-know-whats-the-funnny-part- that ive said…& she didn’t even care to stop…

“Bitch SHUUUUDDDDUPP! becoooz me want to bittttccch-slaaap you!! I didn’t said that though..

anyway..

I watched the MEAN GIRLS movie again… (I was depressed… and then WHOOOLAA! I’m back to my happy mode again..)

AND I lurve this part where this coach guy …..said.

"At your age you're going to have alot of urges. You're going to want to take off you're clothes, and touch each other, but if you touch each other, you WILL get chlamydia....and DIE." "Alright chlamydia" *Writes on board* K-L-A...

and...

"SHUT UP!!!" ......" i didn't say anything."

"Im voting for Regina, she got hit by a bus."
"Im voting for the Girl that Pushed Her"..

Karen- "oh my god she's so annoying"
Gretchen- "who is?"
Karen- "who's this?"
Gretchen- "...Gretchen"
Karen- "oh just a sec...OH MY GOD she's so annoying!"

lol ;) this really cracked me hard like LOL :)), it never gets old =))